PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
