If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize