I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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