I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize