Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
