wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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