Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You ruined the universe
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
