I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize