Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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