I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I don't think brook has ever known best
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
