I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
