Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
