we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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