Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize