My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize