Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize