I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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