fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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