so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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