...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
