So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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