I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We got so high we made milksteak
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
