Sry I called you an 8
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
