Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Randomize
