His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
