i jhust puked up my retainher.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
