Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
