if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
