I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
