What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
wanna go halves on a baby?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize