I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
