I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He did a backflip because drugs
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
