fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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