Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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