i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
