just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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