the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
