actually, I'm a sock model
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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