That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
