Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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