it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
