thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
