i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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