he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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