Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just gift wrapped bread.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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