1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
