Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
