She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
