you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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