i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
