'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize