im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
