Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
