I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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