every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
