I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
