I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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