I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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