Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
