I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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