Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
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