When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
