Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
