You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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