Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
